


Written Secrets

by amel1114



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Bisexual Simon Snow, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow, Happy, Light Angst, M/M, POV First Person, POV Penelope Bunce, POV Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Penelope Bunce & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Friendship, Penelope Bunce is a Good Friend, Slow Burn, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow, Watford (Simon Snow), Watford Eighth Year, Watford Fifth Year, Watford Seventh Year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:48:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23400340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amel1114/pseuds/amel1114
Summary: Baz finds Simon's diary in the bathroom. Not thinking much about it, he opens the notebook only to find some 'secrets'. But what happens when Baz tries to tell Simon  his 'secret '(love) through papers?
Relationships: Dev/Niall (Simon Snow), Penelope Bunce & Simon Snow, Penelope Bunce & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Simon Snow & Agatha Wellbelove, Simon Snow/Agatha Wellbelove, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 2
Kudos: 111





	1. Chapter 1

**BAZ**

The sun’s hot swords were making their way through the open window, but even though they were shining I still was cold. Snow was looking for something around our room when I fully opened my eyes. He should had already been in the dining hall by now.

I got up on my legs and went to the bathroom only so I wouldn’t have to see him, The Chosen One, the guy who I don’t have a chance with, the boy I am hopelessly in love it. _Dramatic_. I try to get these thoughts out of my head while I shower, but my mind is somewhere else and so is my hand...I got out of the shower and started brushing my hair when I suddenly saw something with the corner of my eye. Right there, on the shelf, was a notebook, perhaps Simon’s. It was a pretty bronze colour, just like his curls. I would sell my soul just to play with his, probably soft, curls at least one time. Even though I didn’t want to admit, I was intrigued to see whatever Snow could had written in it. I assumed it was his diary, therefore I would invade his privacy by reading it, but I was dying to know what was on his mind. Thus, without thinking, I opened it.

**SIMON**

I couldn’t find my notebook – well, diary - anywhere in the room. I was desperate to find it because Baz for sure would open it if he found it. The thought of him reading what was there made my hands slightly shake. He could use everything written in there to plot something against me. Plotting... I am honestly sick of always thinking that he might be somewhere plotting against me. Why do the two of us have to be in some stupid fucking prophecy? What if he is the hero after all?

I try to get away from my thoughts as soon as I see Penny. She has two plates in front of her, one full of scones, I suppose it is for me.

"Morning, Penny.” I say as I drag a chair from under the table to sit in front of her.

“Why were you late for breakfast?” she shoots me a deadly look while I eat a scone.

“Overslept.”

“Impossible, you are Simon!” she gestures something with her hands, almost spilling tea with her elbow.

Then, a comfortable silence is set as we eat our breakfast.

**BAZ**

Now I know what he was looking for so desperately this morning. It was, indeed, his diary. 

_‘Start of the school year._

_Baz is nowhere to be seen. I started looking for him fiercely at his football practices, in our shared classes. Where are you, Baz?’_

He didn’t mention anything about plotting against him which he usually does. What made my heart ache more was what he wrote when I came back to Watford.

 _‘Baz finally is back, but he looks skinnier, sick...What could possibly had happened to him in those six weeks? I wish I could just ask, but I will just get a <<fuck off>>as a response. I am tired of all of this stupid bickering._’

I – I didn’t know he actually didn’t like to fight with me. Maybe we both grew up of that awful phase and could have a certain conversation without throwing punches or swears at each other. No...We still are enemies and we will end up fighting for real at some point and only one will win.

I flicked around the pages and stopped randomly at one only to read _‘Can I possibly fall in love with my enemy?’_. I crossed a line right here, invaded his privacy, his secrets, I had to put the notebook back. I decided to put it on his bed, he wouldn’t ask me about it anyway.

Still, the thought of Simon Snow being in love with me made my heart beat faster, cheeks turn a little bit pink and tummy feel weird. I slightly grinned at the thought of him confessing his love to me, then kissing me softly.


	2. Chapter 2

**SIMON**

As soon as classes are over I run to the room because I still need to find my notebook. Baz couldn’t be in our room since I am pretty sure he has football practice. After climbing on all of those stairs I quickly stop to catch my breath. I open the door and look over to my bed where my notebook was, out and proud. That only means Baz found it this morning, maybe in the bathroom...? The point is, if he read it then I am going to be totally fucked. He can’t know about my hopeless, dumb, teenage crush, he might even use that against me. 

Hours pass by on the clock. All of a sudden, I hear the door creak and a tall, well built, bloke figure enters the room. I try to catch a little bit of him, then look away. My cheeks were betraying me as they turned soft red. 

Unexpectedly, he says “I found your notebook on the bathroom shelf this morning and put it on your bed. You probably already saw it.” 

As surprised as I was, I still managed to let out a few words: “Oh, yeah. Thank you, I was looking for it this morning.” 

“No problem, Snow.” he replied while he shifted to the bathroom. 

**BAZ**

He would kill me if he finds out that I read what was in it. There’s no way he could find out, right? 

Some more hours pass by and Snow finally goes to shower. He left his notebook on his desk. I know this is wrong, but I can’t help it! I got up and went to his desk, opened the notebook with my heart in my throat. 

_‘I can’t help but blush when_ _Baz_ _is around. He looks so good in everything he wears. He could be wearing a trash bag and still rock it. He would probably look better without his hair slicked back. It’s not that he looks extremely posh with that hairstyle, it makes him look like his way older.’_

So, the next day, I stopped wearing my hair slicked back. When I accidentally came across Snow in the dining hall, I swear I had seen his cheeks blush before he turned away. If only I knew he would act like this if I let my hair fall this way, I would had done it a long time ago. 

Classes were hard because I kept staring at Snow. He slowly played with one of his curls wrapped around his finger while he was writing. I felt like I fell in love with him once again. The sunlight from the window had fallen right on him. Simon Snow looked godly and I wanted to kiss him, cuddle with him, tell him he is the one I truly love, but – how do I tell Snow I like him? Even though I know he might like me back I can’t go up to him and say _“Yeah, I had a crush on you for a while.”_

In the evening, I decided to go down to the Catacombs to feed, as usual. Thoughts about Snow rushed through my mind, about him liking me, being with me. In a moment of negligence, I tripped over a rock and fell on my hand, leaving a pretty bad scratch on it. I could have easily spelled it clean, but I was too tired. Once I entered the room, I was welcomed by the same soft blue eyes and bronze curls, laying on one of the beds. I didn’t bother to say a word since this was our usual routine. The one who broke the piercing silence was Snow. 

“What happened to your hand?” he asked while shifting in his bed to find a more comfortable position. How did he even notice? 

“None of your business.” I spat out with venom in my words. His eyes widened a bit as he tried to look at my small wound. 

“Baz, you are bleeding.” I looked down at my hand and I was, indeed, bleeding. Not a lot, but I still was. I could hear Simon walk around our room, then making his way close to me. Suddenly he grabbed my hand. As I was too tired to protest I sat in front of him silently. Snow examined my hand and pulled out some bandages from a random first aid kit. His hands slowly touched mine, feeling how hot his skin was made me slightly flinch. 

“There you go.” Snow said while letting go of my hand. I wish he wouldn’t though... 

“Thank you.” I kind of whispered, still in shock of what happened. Maybe he was tired of fighting after all. 

That night I decided to stop scuffling with him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since I have 4 chapters already written I decided to post the 2nd one today. hope you'll like it <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was this a bit too late? yes ups

** SIMON **

Baz had been acting strange for the past few days. He didn’t try to insult me nor start a fight. Was he plotting? It felt like I was in Fifth year once again, thinking he might be plotting every second of the day, still, I grew out of that phase. I am 18, or at least I might be – I am older than in Fifth year at least. My feelings for him were also mixed up. I realized I might had liked when he disappeared at the start of the year. The constant looking around to find him, not being able to fall asleep in this room alone(cliché), I even missed bickering with him!

I didn’t have enough time to gather my thoughts, when, suddenly, Baz entered the room. Strangely enough, he looked happy.  Of course, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut -

“Looking kind of happy today, aren’t you?”

He grinned a little bit and replied with “I just had a good day which didn’t happen in quite a while.”

“Mind sharing? I have nothing better to do.”

I didn’t except him to actually sit down on my bed and start talking. I have to admit that my heart skipped a beat when I saw him going towards my bed. He was glowing with happiness so I couldn’t take that away from him.

“Well, nothing much happened, really. I received a letter from my younger sister and step mother, which never happened while I was at school. I just felt cared for.”

I listened carefully to what he said. I didn’t have the heart to ask him why he was being nice to me, I couldn’t break the atmosphere and I didn’t want happy Baz to go away. Sadness took over my emotions as I thought of how I spent all of my childhood and teenage years stuck at foster homes, never with an actual family. But this wasn’t about me, it was about Baz.

“That’s so nice coming from them! I never knew you had a younger sister.” I replied, shyly making  eye contact. 

“Well, I have four younger siblings, two of each are twins. The youngest is a baby, so the age differences are quite big between us, but we still try to get along.”

I looked deep down into his piercing grey eyes only to find something pure about them, not hate as I thought most of my life. We looked into each other’s eyes for some solid  seconds, until  Baz shifted and said:

“I have something to do, sorry. Let’s talk later, okay?”

With my heart pulsing in my ears and a question stuck in my throat, I managed to say:

“How come you are not picking up a fight with me?”

** BAZ **

_ “How come you are not picking up a fight with me? _ ”

_ Because I am in love with you and tired of this! _ my heart wanted to say. My rationality said no, at least for now. I sat there, frozen in shock, head empty, no thoughts.

“Aren’t we a little old to do that?”

Simon looked down, wiggling his toes and rubbing his hands.

“Yeah, you are right.”

None of us wanted to say anything about the prophecy. Honestly fuck that dumb prophecy, fuck the war, I just want Simon to be happy and feel loved by someone. Without any more words, I got out of the room to go down to the Catacombs. I liked the way Simon and I talked  today, it was something new. There was no tension between us, it almost felt like we really were friends. He said – wrote in his diary which I totally shouldn’t had read – that he might be in love with this enemy – me, what  other enemy does he have? Maybe – maybe I should try to subtly tell him.

Therefore, starting tomorrow, I am going to leave random notes around our room to hint about my feelings. All of this is already fucked up, what is risking one more thing?


	4. Chapter 4

** SIMON **

Baz wasn’t in the room when I woke up. Talking with him yesterday was kind of nice. I just wish I wasn’t so in love with him. Being in love with  your straight roommate/enemy is shit. I couldn’t be in love with him, I had to figure out a way to make this stop. I once told Penny that I might like guys and that I really shouldn’t feel this way. She told I might be dealing with internalized homophobia which, I guess, I should overcome...? Honestly, no one is that dumb to be heads over heels for their enemy – except me.

I got up to go to the bathroom. I silently  was brushing my teeth when I saw a blue post-it on the mirror. 

_ “Reminder: Talk with Snow again. It’s nice to talk with him.” _

What kind of sick game was  Baz playing? He isn’t that stupid to leave this specific post-it laying around. Unless he wants to mess with me and my feelings. Without thinking much, I go to  his desk to grab a post-it for myself, but instead I see another one.

_ “Simon’s eyes are the ocean.” _

_ Fuck. _ Does that mean he looked into my eyes? Fuck, fuck, fuck, where is this going? I grab an empty post-it and write something on it. I leave it on his desk so he could see it. Then, I do my usual morning routine. I was walking towards the Dining hall when it clicked –  _ He called me Simon. _ For some reason, I felt extremely happy. He never called me Simon before, I used to think he didn’t even bother to know my first name. When I entered the Dining Hall, the first person I saw was  Baz . We made eye contact and I swear I could see him cracking a little smile. Then, I left to go find Penny. As soon as I sat down, she opened her mouth to say something.

“What’s going on between you and  Baz ?” 

Her question startled me for a second. How does she know that  _ something  _ might actually be going on? I mean – not that something is going on, though.

“What?” I asked before eating a piece of bread.

“You know what I said.  Baz and you made eye contact then he smiled and you blushed.” she said while swirling a spoon into her tea.

“What - No, I didn’t!”

“Yes, you did! In fact, you are still blushing. Tell me, Simon!”

“Okay, okay. We just talked yesterday without fighting. That’s it.”

She didn’t believe me.

** BAZ **

My heart skipped a beat the moment me and Simon locked eyes. My only response was a little dumb smile. I could see a faint blush on his face as he walked away. Maybe he saw the post-its I left which means my stupid plan is working. I went back to our room to grab a book –well, mostly to see if Simon had left a post-it. To my surprise, he did leave one on my desk.

_ “Reminder: Tell  _ _ Baz _ _ he is so handsome when he laughs that it makes you blush.” _

His handwriting is messy, but readable. I unpeeled it from my desk and put it in my pocket because I will probably cherish it my whole life. As I shift around the room to grab my books, I see Simon’s diary wide open, like it wants me to read it. A little glance at it isn’t going to hurt anybody, right?

_ “Ok, I am in love with Baz. I think I’ve been in love with him since fifth or sixth year, but only discovered my true feelings now. Which is not that odd given the fact a stupid prophecy made me think he was my enemy the first second I met him. Talking with him these days made my heart go crazy. If only I would have gotten to see this side of Baz earlier... Does one of us really have to die? I would give up on my life if that means no more fighting, no more wars, if that means Baz will stay alive.” _

I don’t know why and how a tear rolled down my cheek, then many more come. He would die for me. Simon Snow, _ the _ Simon Snow, would rather be dead himself than have to bury me in the ground. This is so fucked up, I am tired of that bloody prophecy – I don’t want to kill him and he doesn’t want to kill me! Then why the fuck are we supposed to fight? This question has been in my mind for quite a while now.

I was about to leave when Simon came into the room only to find me on my bed with dried tears on my face and puffy cheeks. I was too tired to even hide the fact that I cried. Simon didn’t bother to say anything, just went to his desk to get his books. A soft sob accidentally escapes me as I glance over to Simon.

“ Baz ?”

His eyes widened as he saw the rough state I was in.

** SIMON **

“ Baz , what’s wrong?”

I couldn’t believe he was crying. My question made more tears roll down his cheeks. He didn’t bother to wipe them away, so I went closer to him and did it myself.

“ Baz ...Did- Did I do something?”

He refused to look me in the eyes. Then, he opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. I never knew how to comfort someone who is crying, I just stood there, still a little shocked.

“I have feelings like everybody else, Simon.” he said and another sob escaped from him. Suddenly, I hugged him. He is either going to kill me and all of this was a cruel trap which I fell right in or he really was sad. To my surprise, he buries his head in my chest and cries more. I rub his back to comfort him as much as I can. He didn’t protest to any of my gestures. Unexpectedly, he straightened his back, cleared his throat and opened his mouth to say something, except that this time he actually speaks.

“I don’t want to fight anymore, I am bloody exhausted. I don’t want to kill you just because some stupid prophecy said so!”

His words send shivers down my spine. He isn’t lying,  Baz looks way too sad to be lying. I hug him tighter and he hugs too. I gently stroke his voluminous soft black hair as he started to calm himself down and to breathe normally again. We end up hugging each other for quite a while. I was the one to break the silence.

“Are you feeling better now?” I almost whisper, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear and wiping away the remaining tears. He nods as response, but doesn’t move at all from my arms.

“I don’t give a fuck about that prophecy,  Baz . I don’t want to harm you.”

“Me, too, even though I did in the past and it is understandable if you wouldn’t forgive me.”

** BAZ **

Simon was hot against my cold skin.  _ I might kiss him.  _ The possibility of this being his way to lure me in a trap wasn’t exactly big, but if it was a trap, he won. He finally won, he can tell The Mage I am a vampire, I don’t care anymore. 

His blue eyes scanned me up and down. He is still hugging me tightly, slowly, carefully playing with my hair. I decided that this is it. He successfully lured me into his trap. Then, I kiss him. A kiss I have been waiting to have for years. To my surprise, he kisses me back. A soft, loving kiss. We break apart because of the need of air. I can’t believe I just kissed Simon Snow and he kissed me back. My mind was racing with so many thoughts and possibilities.

"Baz – I – What? W - Why?”

“I found your diary. I didn’t know what was the notebook so I looked through it. Simon, I am sorry...”

“Fuck the diary, you just kissed me! Why?”

His blue eyes stared at me. I thought I was going to lose my mind. He can be so bloody dumb sometimes.

“Because I am in love with you and I’ve been for years!” 

“How - You pushed me down a flight of stairs, wanted to feed me to a chimera. I thought you hated me!” he said as tears were forming in the corners of his eyes, I didn’t want to see the beautiful golden boy crying,

“I did some extremely stupid things as a child and I am genuinely sorry about them. It’s okay if you don’t want to forgive me, Simon.”

“Fuck -  Baz , no!”

His cheeks turned red and a tear fell down from his right eye. Then, he kisses me. His tongue explores my mouth and I don’t want to protest. He breaks the kiss only to leave quick kisses all over my cheeks, on my forehead, nose. I even pinched myself to be sure I wasn’t dreaming and to my surprise, I wasn’t. This was the reality, Snow was kissing me, cuddling with me and I couldn’t ask for more. It was perfect – he was perfect.

“Do you have any idea for how long I wanted this?” I say silently, his eyes meeting mine once again.

“Me, too,  Baz . You are beautiful in every way possible.”

Simon calling me beautiful made me blush a little bit.

“Fuck the prophecy, I just want to  snog with you more.” he says while, of course, placing yet another soft kiss on my lips.

“Unfortunately, Snow, we have classes.”

“You called me Simon before.”

I can’t help but smile at him. He was glowing with happiness and so were I. I carefully stroke his bronze curls, something I had always wished to do.  We leave for class and walk hand in hand, not caring about whoever was watching. Simon was finally mine and no one could come between us. I am going stay by his side as long as he wants.

_ I truly am living in a dream. _

** SIMON **

_ Baz loves me and I couldn’t wish for more. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, that's all. hope you enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> hiii! this is my first fanfic and I am trying my best at writing it, so I am open to hear everyone's opinions. Chapters will hopefully be updated weekly. Keep in mind that English isn't my first language and that I live in a non English speaking community, I might mess up some slangs or tenses :)


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